Roundhouse Kicks

Neon Pattent Leather RS100s

2006-10-02T12:28:00.000-04:00

High Snobriety Has some pictures of Pumas coming out in 2007. What really caught my eye was these
neon patent leather RS100s. Normally the front toe area is made of reflective material but in these pics it looks like they wanted that to be patent leather. I think that was a bad move, but that's why I am a blogger and not a sneaker designer.These extremely reflective RS100s are pretty dope. the remind me of the nitebrites I posted a while back but these will probably see a wider release.

Gravis 'Native American' pack

2006-09-29T12:47:00.000-04:00

I had a pair of gravis sneakers and I really liked them. I wore them out completely until the sole was gone and the leather was ripped.
That said, these "Native American" shoes they are coming out with are not to my liking. I like anything high concept and ugly in brown is always better than ugly in bright colors because you can actually wear ugly in brown. High Snobriety has more pictures and info.

Horse Hair Court Forces

2006-09-29T12:42:00.000-04:00

NSB has some pics of a pair of court force high tops made out of black horse hair. other classy materials include fake croc in mustard, black, and purple.

Bonnie et Clyde

2006-09-29T12:35:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the unannounced hiatus I have had a really busy week with lots of work and shows.
Puma is making two Clydes with the theme of Bonnie and Clyde.
The best thing about these shoes is they come in a giant sack with dollar signs allover it.

I think it would be cool if it came with a big, round, black cartoon bomb with a burning fuse.

LaCoste Pattent Leather

2006-09-24T19:00:00.000-04:00

I really am not a fan of LaCoste or patent leather. these look very similar to Stan smiths only they are made from lots of shades of patent leather and have a alligator on them. Hypebeast has pictures of them in all sorts of colors.

Taxi Series

2006-09-24T18:44:00.000-04:00

I am totally psyched for this release. Nike SB is releasing a taxi pack with shoes based on the colors from taxis from the world over. I am definitely getting a pair of the NYC zoom teams when they come out I have read that they might come out some time around January.

FOR THE HOMIES LACE JEWELS

2006-09-24T09:45:00.000-04:00

Sneaker Freaker is releasing the sickest pair of lace locks I have seen in my young life. They are made in sterling silver and let the world know exactly how ballin' you are.

Little Boy In orduroy

2006-09-23T22:07:00.000-04:00

These AF1's are part of a 'Harlem black 5' pack. These shoes really aren't all that ugly. The really interesting thing about them is the ultra wide-wale corduroy lining at the collar. One neat thing about this material is that it matches the vertical lines on the side of the sole of the AF1. Another thing about corduroy It that it's great at picking up lint from your socks.

Tie Die

2006-09-23T21:40:00.000-04:00

G-d damn tie die looks so lame. What really puts these over the edge is the hemp type material at the collar.

I saw Fat Joe IRL

2006-09-21T10:45:00.000-04:00

Yesterday at work I saw Fat Joe in his car on 34th. Fat joe isn't just famous for being a great rapper,but for having probably the greatest sneaker collection of any one man in the world. I told him to check out my blog. He repeated the name back to me, but i seriously doubt he actually went. If I don't check out some dudes band on myspace every time I get a message I doubt he's going to do the same for me. Check out this video of Fat Joe showing off some of his collection.

This celebrity citing was only eclipsed later that evening when I saw Zach Galifianakis and Demetri Martin perform at Rififi. Joe if your reading this I'm sorry. I am a comedy nerd first and a sneaker nerd second. If it makes you feel any better I can assure you that your SUV was significantly more ballin' than Dimitri's folding bike.

Crocs Mary Jane

2006-09-21T10:35:00.000-04:00

Crocs made a billion dollars this year. just a couple years before that they made a million. If they don't expand their product line and create more MUST HAVE items sales will plummet next summer and the next time you see croc it will be in the hand of chuck nice on VH1 discussing how much he loves the aughties. These are supposed to look like Mary Jane's, but if you ask me Crocs better have something else up their sleeve if they want any sort of staying power. I think instead of making more shoes Croc's should take other items out of rubber that should never be made out of rubber. Items from MP3 players to coffins, bicycle pedals to bath accessories. On seccodn thought I think crocs should just go out of bussiness.

Japanese Nike iD ad

2006-09-21T10:30:00.000-04:00

This Ad like many Japanese things gives me a case of the creeps. This ad makes me feel liek Nike and it's customers are violent ass holes. You heard me right generic power rangers leave that man alone he never did anything to you.

Three Bears Pack Update

2006-09-20T11:01:00.000-04:00

I posted a while back about some furry Dunks that will be part of a "three bears" pack from Nike SB. I am trying to cut back on Nike news,but I find these shoes so horrendous I must post the most recent pics I found on NSB. These Dunks are made from golden brown faux fur and plush suede. I think the head of design at the skateboarding division is trying to get himself fired, but nothing he does seems to be working.

New Blog

2006-09-20T10:00:00.000-04:00

I Started a new blog about Flamin' Hot Cheetos viral videos called Some Like It Hot. It's a pop cultural sensation you really should get in on.

Adidas Materials of the World

2006-09-19T23:20:00.000-04:00

Adidas is doing a project that on it';s face sounds cool, but really is just the same old ugly sneaker game that we're used to. They are taking indigenous materials from across the globe and using them in their sneakers in runs limited to 500 pairs each. Above is a metro attitude Basketball hi-top with a traditional Chinese textile. Below is a Mexican day of the dead Gazelle and a Turkish track jacket. It would seem to call these ugly would be culturally insensitive. However you know what? these materials were never intended to be used on athletic sneakers for reasons obvious to anyone with eyes.A little post script for y'all, I would like to point out that Nike SB's Day of the Dead Dunks aren't any nicer looking

Not Again

2006-09-19T23:03:00.000-04:00

I appears Nike has yet again based a basketball shoe on awful wallpaper of the early 70's. Check out NSB for more pics.

Vans

2006-09-19T11:13:00.000-04:00

Vans has something really big in the works.LOL, I'm so punny. This is from SBTG. Apparently this will be at Sneaker Pimps 2006 in NYC which I will be in attendance for. Apparently they are very difficult to clean.

Adidas Safety

2006-09-18T18:09:00.000-04:00

High Snobriety has a post with lots of pics of the new shoes from Adidas Safety collection. It's a part of adidas lifestyle branch that puts out consistently hipster friendly footwear.

Metrocard Dunks

2006-09-18T18:01:00.000-04:00

I designed these shoes on Nike ID. They are based on the MTA Metrocard. I would order them, but I hate patent Leather and there is no yellow available in full grain. The sole is supposed to look like the magnetic strip.
Besides the subway and MTA buses my other modes of transit is the Staten Island Ferry and my red Pedicab.

Franken Kids

2006-09-17T18:29:00.000-04:00

Here at RHK we believe that the children are our future. This Vandal lo (similar to the Frankenstein AF1 I posted a while back) will be available only in children's sizes. I think if I was a kid and I had these shoes I would feel like the fucking shit until some jealous bully berated me to death.

The San Fransisco Feet

2006-09-16T22:06:00.000-04:00

The Tron Stan Smiths made Skott think of these San Fransisco Stan Smiths from Adidas fresh new Skate line. Adidas is basically copying Nike by trying to make crazy overpriced skate shoes to help make the rest of the product line cooler. Skott seems to think these are ugly. I think they are really sharp.

The Stan Smith for the skate line is totally different than a regular Stan Smith. First off the foot bed is wider. I can't wear regular Stan Smiths, they just don't fit me right, the Skate SS fits me. Then there is lots of extra padding in the tongue and collar. Also it has some sort of gimmicky padding in the heel that probably amount to a hill of beans. Unlike Nike, Adidas is making all the shoes out of scuff resistant material and recessed eyelets that are supposed to live up to skating unlike a material like fur. There is a Coffee themed half-shell mid top coming out some time in 07 that I am excited about as a big fan of mid tops. High Snobriety has a post with a bunch of pics of the next years Adidas skate shoes.
But wait there's more San Fransisco shoe news. Nike Skateboarding is collaborating with HUF to make a whole pack of shoes commemorating the 100th anniversary of the San Fransisco earthquake. NSB posted some great pics.
The materials are supposed to look burned and cracked. the shoes were designed to look like they are actually smoking.

Tron Adicolor

2006-09-16T16:55:00.000-04:00

In the comments of the Glow in the Dark Pumps post Skott wrote
"TRON!!! these are the perfect shoes to wear on your lightcycle. "

Earlier this year before I started Roundhouse Adidas came out with a Velcro Stan Smith Tron shoe from the Adicolor line.I guess wearing them on a lightcycle would be like wearing a bands shirt to the concert, but it's nice to have two options.

For Love or Money NB

2006-09-16T13:09:00.000-04:00

Another crazy Japan only NB release. I love the star lace holes and I am a fan of the color pink. People will probably flock like mad to this shoe. last time a For Love Or Money shoe was release the secondary market went a little crazy.

Pump in the dark

2006-09-16T02:41:00.000-04:00

It looks like the glow in the dark high top world is about to get a lot more crowded. I have to say that Reebok's use of screened Glow prints makes Nike look like a bunch of pansies.

Glow in the Dark Pack

2006-09-15T09:54:00.000-04:00

Freshness posted pics from Prestigious Atlanta of samples of the glow in the dark pack. Normally I will snark on the shoes here, but these are really fun, exciting, and well executed. if you look in the glow picture you can see how two gradients of glow material was used so in the dark you can see the cut of the leather. I am assuming it's leather with some sort of glow material, but it might be a synthetic material for all I know. Glow in the New Sincerity.

Greedy Genius

2006-09-14T11:09:00.000-04:00

Greedy Genius is a Brand of super-luxury sneakers. For each model only 500 pairs are made. They are sold in boutiques and retailers like Barney's. Celebrities such as Slim Thug, Sean Paul, Rasaq,and probably others i don't care even less about are wearing them.

"Thank God for my Wallabee Shoes"

2006-09-14T10:43:00.000-04:00

The ugly sneaker game is really simple. You take a preexisting sneaker and then you use a material that is antithetical to the original canvas. This game gets heightened over and over again until we are at a point where companies are making a basketball shoe out of patent leather and fur.

I'm Glad that Clark's gets it. they are making a Snakeskin Wallabee in two colorways. 9 of each will be made an never sold to the public according to High Snobriety one will go to Ghostface Killah for giving them free advertising. P.S. Ghost's new album fishscale is fucking amazing and you should totally listen to it. IMHO it's better than Supreme Clientele. I just want o take a moment to big up my hood and all of Shaolin. Every time I make a post with a rap quote for the title I hope one of you motherfuckers gets it.

AF1 Frankenstein

2006-09-13T11:19:00.000-04:00

you know generally I hate patent leather, but these shoes are really fun. I think they make it as new sincerity. These Frankenstein Air Force 1s are coming out in October.
Alife will be releasing this really cool fifty59 hat that perfectly matches the shoes. Again I think this hat is really fun. Both could be enjoyed unironicly together or apart.

More furry shoe news

2006-09-13T02:18:00.000-04:00

Freshness has some great pictures of outrageous shoes from the international sneaker battle of some really rare shoes. According to Freshness these are dog hair AF1s. That's some pretty effed up ess. I love the satin purple paisley lining. It would totally match my purple paisley blazer.
Among the other pictures they posted was this fresh NB 1500. I have been posting WAY too many Nikes. I am implementing a new rule that Nikes have to be particularly garish to get posted and I am lowering my standards for other brands. Nike doesn't pay me and according to Public Enemy my neighborhood supports them but they don't support us. Thanks for kicking the real Chuck.

Dunk High Seamless

2006-09-12T22:17:00.000-04:00

NSB has pics of a new seamless Dunk High. Shoes like these aren't really anything new. basically they take a piece of leather and laser cut it. This one is special because it has gortex, but seriously don't get these wet or walk on dirt or anything. I like the blue lining a lot. other than that this is yawn worthy.

MF Doom Dunks

2006-09-12T11:10:00.000-04:00

Kicksclusive has the info on an upcoming MF Doom Dunk. MF Doom is one of my favorite rappers hopefully these shoes will be really nice and not ruined with fur or some weird space material.

speak for them selves

2006-09-12T01:26:00.000-04:00

These shoes are so outragous I don't need to say much.
These are patent croc AF1 seamless. that means the shoe is made out of one giant piece of leather that wraps around. First off they aren't really croc, it's pressed leather. Also they aren't seamless. the seam is on the inside of the foot where the star would be on chuck Taylor's.
These are Adidas Rod Lavers, one of my favorite shoes. they are super comfortable and rarely made into some sort of special material or colorway. these are an exception. They are made out of a suede fish leather. Fish leather is supposed to be more environmentally friendly and it uses scraps that would normally be thrown away. not very ballin' if you ask me.

Metalic PVC Court Forces

2006-09-12T00:50:00.000-04:00

Plastic Shoes, seriously. the upper is made of a metallic PVC material. the low has a purple clear sole and the high-top has a blue clear sole. the insole has layered cartoon eyes that look like fish scales as does the illustration on the top. I have to say these are kind of silly but not trashy. I think the colors are really fun. I don't like patent leather, but some how when it's plastic it's totally OK. I am worried about how scuffed up they will get and how durable the material is.

Story Update

2006-09-11T01:00:00.000-04:00

Remember those pony hair diamond shoes? It turns out they are part of a pack called "the Urban Samurai Pack" put out by Nike’s Blue Ribbon Sports Label. They will be available at Nike owns on the 15th and shoejockey-- has them now for inflated prices. I like the Air Force 3 hi. Part of me wants to get those garbagous dunks because they are so insane, but I don't have that sort of money to through around.

Walk the Rainbow

2006-09-11T00:39:00.000-04:00

Check out this new court force that NSB posted. the outside looks like army green canvas and it's lined with safety orange. what colors would match that scheme? ALL OF THEM!

Run Athletics Run!

2006-09-09T08:41:00.000-04:00

Kix and The city has pictures from the Magic trade show of some '07 shit from Run Athletics. They seem to be doing a lot of original stuff. By original I mean ugly in ways I am unaccustomed to.

Go figure has some pics of the R-Tek, Run's newest model featuring visable air.

"Diamond"Horse Hair

2006-09-06T23:16:00.000-04:00

These are so GD ugly they give the hamsters a run for their money in ugliness. The centerpiece of the ugly is the Horse hair screen printed with a diamond pattern that was probably lifted from the 70's worst wall paper. However unlike the Hamsters it doesn't end there. there is also touches of purple metallic patent leather. the black section is a weird leather that has little textured red lines in it.
For more picks check out NSB

From the Hamsters to the shoes in the Nordic pack to these it looks like Nike is doing a lot with itchy material. It might be a little too soon to call it, but I think itchy is the new patent leather.

"See when I was a youngsta, used to wear them fuckin Pro Keds"

2006-09-06T23:00:00.000-04:00

Kix and the City has some pics of a whole bunch of pro keds coming out in 2007. These are all 142nd streets which are almost all created in collaboration with Damon Dash. The 142nd was always a copy of Nike Uptowns and these are just copies colorwise of what Bape is doing. I really like what Pro Keds does, but I'm not all that interested in these. They don't evenm do well as ugly. Pro Keds step up your game.
I think these are legitimately fresh. normal human beings should consider the green ones cause they would go real well with camo or army surplus green. The crimson ones are also tight.

"Rope" Laces

2006-09-06T11:27:00.000-04:00

I've been seeing pictures of shoes from n upcoming "Nordic" pack from Nike. It has a lot of Wool, horse hair, and ugly patterns. It's ugly but not worth porting...

UNTIL NOWBurlap laces. I have never sen anything like that before. I love innovation. I am sick of seeing the same old ugly shit repeated endlessly (I'm talking to you patent leather AF1s).

Footscape Woven "hampsters"

2006-09-05T12:46:00.000-04:00

After months of waiting one of the ugliest shoes I have ever seen is coming out on the 9th in London. Nike took what IMHO is an ugly shoe and proceeded to use make it out of pony hair. C'mon Nike, seriously? I feel like making fun of these would be like making fun of an adult with Downs syndrome. it's just cruel and demeaning and I am bigger than that. For those of you in London who want to buy this thing check out High Snobriety because I'm not going to directly help anyone get this.

Luchador Flyer Dunk High

2006-09-05T00:34:00.000-04:00

NikeSkateboarding.org just posted some pictures of what look like REALLY exciting shoes. First of all the shoes are in red,black, and white which have always been the most popular colors for shoes since Micheal Jordan started playing basketball. What makes it even more special that it is in those colors is that Jordan Is which created the big controversy in the first place were based on the Dunk Highs.

The print section is based off of fliers promoting Luchador (Mexican masked wrestling) matches. While Luchador was at it's peak of retro kitch popularity several years ago it's so cool it can't really become passe. Basically Luchador is so new sincerity that you can't get sick of it. the original interest in Luchador wasn't ironic, it was a sincere interest in kick ass masked wrestling. These shoes are flamboyant and flashy but definitely not ugly in a bad way. These shoes have me the most excited about a pair of shoes since I first saw the H.R. Pufnstuf Dunks or Supreme's Public Enemy Vans Sk8 HIs. So basically these are the most legitimately hot shoes I have posted since I started this blog, and I have a general distain for dunks.

short news

2006-09-04T18:45:00.000-04:00

I really love 3M scotchbrite. These are Air Max 1s that will only come out in one store in Malaysia. I think scotchbrite just the greatest material and everything on earth should be made out of it. I will blog inproportionately about it because I love it. It's very new sincerity. It's so ridiculous yet at the same time honestly fun and amazing.

The thing I like about the Labron IIIs is that they have clean, simple lines and are extremely expensive. The thing I don't like about them is they don't come in pink...

UNTIL NOW!

Air Kitchen Sink

2006-09-04T17:40:00.000-04:00

Memorial day weekend has been pretty slow for sneaker news until I saw this from kix and the city. These shoes are called the "lay-up" from the basketball inspired clothing label UNDR-CRWN. The shoe is truly grotesque. In many cases I am writing about well designed shoes with unappealing colors, this is a unappealing shoe with unappealing colors. However somehow I am oddly drawn to them. This is the seconds run of this sneaker and they are using far more bold materials. This shoe features cement pattern sole, elephant print (both inspired from Jordan brand), visable air, basketball pigskin material, and white leather with over-sized perforations, purple suede and hiking boot style laces. Go bold or go home.

2006-09-02T17:50:00.000-04:00

NIKE SB posted the new shoes that will come out in September. The Mork And Mindy Dunk highs take the cake as the ugliest. They are inspired by Robin William's character's outfit. the sole is clear and through it you can see a rainbow on the sole that matches his suspenders. I really like what Nike did taking the ugliness from the inside of Robin's joke stealing heart and showed it on the outside of this ugly shoe. Good work fellas.
This pair of zoom teams is actualy verynice and woudl match well with jeans and works with most fall colors.

BLING BLING!

2006-09-02T17:42:00.000-04:00

In the never ending quest to find a place to put all the worlds (fake) diamonds comes this, sneaker bling. it looks like they fasten like clasp envelopes.
Really guys? Is this the legacy you want to leave? you can pick them up from lowtex for 2400 yen for a set of 4.

multi color NB

2006-09-02T17:38:00.000-04:00

Yet another Multi colored NB only for Japan. It's a collaboration/abomination from Stussy, Hectic and Undefeated. I don't get why it always takes so many parties to accomplish something like this.

You asked for it

2006-09-02T15:36:00.000-04:00

Baron Vaughan, one of my favorite comedians, and one of New York's sexiest reads round house kicks. I talked to him Thursday at Oh Hello at Rififi, New York's best comedy/burlesque venue. He said he was in the market for a pair of sneakers and would like me to post something flashy, but not ugly. This will be the first in a series of interesting limited sneakers that aren't ugly, but worth considering for actual purchase.
Cheech Wizard was a great comic from the 70s. Cheech was basically a red ball with legs that wore a huge floppy yellow hat with red and black stars. Cheech lived in a weird fairytale land and spoke some sort of gibberish jive. I read some Cheech stuff a while ago because I heard that it was a huge influence for the guy who made Fritz the cat. Some time soon Puma will be coming out with these Clydes along with the hoodie. Hopefully they will come with an extra set of big fat red puma laces.

Fashion Journalism Integrity

2006-09-02T01:40:00.000-04:00

Kix in the City posted a picture of this ridiculous AF1. According to them only two pairs exist. One is owned by Labron James. The other, pictured here is owned by the the fashion editor of XXL magazine. It makes me second guess the authority of the entire magazine's staff.

I have a question for the Music Editor or anyone else who feels like leaving a comment
Sneakers are to Seafoam Green Suede
as Rap Music is to ______________

Patent leather

2006-09-02T01:12:00.000-04:00

James K. Polka was inspired by a post of mine to research patent leather on wikipedia. According to wikipedia patent leather was invented in New Jersey. How fitting. I'm going to be very respectful of New Jersey and not tear New Jersey a new one, because the whole state is the original one.

I recommend checking out Solepedia which is a great reference site for shoes of various levels of ugliness. I will also added it to the link bar on the side once I am done posting.

P.S. James thanks for reading and linking. I can't comment on your blog because you need to be a member of Blogger to comment. I am using blogger beta and they haven't figured out how to let us cross comment. You don't have a email address listed or anything. Who are you and do I know you in real life.

Teen Kelly Court Force Hi

2006-09-01T17:21:00.000-04:00

So Nike designed this Court Force Hi with hot pink/safety yellow soles. It has baby blue and more hot pink and safety yellow though out. They topped it off with sea foam laces. The head of Design was about send the design off to a sweatshop supervisor in the Philippines when some mail room guy came in with the executive's new issue of SPIN magazine. The exec ask the young lad if he had any ideas the make the shoes more visible to a velociraptor. The young man suggested making the swoosh gold. The executive promptly fired himself and promoted that young man to vice president of R&D.

P.S. I'm just kidding. I have no knowledge of the inner workings of NIKE, just an active imagination.

Bape Soda

2006-08-31T10:37:00.000-04:00

Bape is probably my least favorite brand. They based their brand on making 200 doolally knock-offs of NIKE AF1s. I find them derivative and uninspired. They also are responsible for the current trend in over the top color and use of patent leather.
These latest shoes are based off orange and grape Fanta soda. Now these shoes are primarily popular in "urban"areas and were originally popularized by hip hop producer Farrell Williams. I find the reinforcement of racial stereotypes too obvious not to say anything about. I think this design choose is thoroughly gauche. What's next KFC colors? May I suggest sneakers and clothing based off of food stamps?

Do The Pee Wee Herman

2006-08-31T10:26:00.000-04:00

The first good pictures of the Pee Wee Herman Dunk hi came out. It shows that you can do something relatively high concept without making it horrendously garish.
Check out the extra shit Nike does to make you feel special. It's like when a woman wears fancy lingerie all day as her little secret. No one has to know, it's your secret.

Triumvir3 Custom Dunks

2006-08-29T15:46:00.000-04:00

I saw these custom Dunks and was thinking, yes they are ugly, but not ugly enough or interesting enough to pass on. it has purple camouflage that will only hide you in a forest designed by Sid and Marty Kroft. Then I saw...

THIS

MATCHING ROBOT!

Holy-moly shit folks. Dear people who make ugly custom sneakers, Triumvir3 has raised the bar. now you need to make a matching gundam robot model. What really amazes me is that the pattern which looks ridiculous on a pair of basketball shoes, but on a robot it completely makes sense. I guess the reason is that if a 40 story fighting robot with 100 foot long riffle showed up it gets it's way. Who are you to question a giant robot's preference for paisley contracting with argyle?

NIKE 3m Brick Pack

2006-08-29T15:25:00.000-04:00

Nike is coming out with a whole pack of shoes made with 3M material laser etched with reptilian prints.

Nike has pretty much exhausted all of it's options making ugly shoes with colors. Now they are proving they can make grey garish. To Nike ugly isn't a black and white issue. Nike realizes that ugly doesn't lie in subtle shades of grey, but in brazen shades of grey with bold patterns. My favorite touch is the metallic grey smooth pressed with a gator texture contrasting on top of the 3M scotchbrite laser etched with a similar pattern.

nike free

2006-08-29T15:06:00.000-04:00

Check out this wacky Japanese version of the Nike Free trainer. Think it's ugly with all those crazy colors? Wait for it...

BAM!

LIGHTPLOSION!!

Not only does it have 3M reflective material, but it's laser etched with a crackle pattern. I find it amazing that there are some starving wage slaves in some third world country manufacturing these shoes in a
sweat shop. All day long for 12 hours she is slaving away on some specialized sewing machine to adhere the green sole to the reflective crackle print upper. I wonder what thoughts run through her mind all day while she completes this boring task. My guess is she's thinking "what the fuck is up with the Japanese? those mother fuckers are fucking nuts." Either that or "I'm so hungry and I can't afford basic medical care."

I really can't get enough of anything with a reflective material. If a material isn't reflective, glow in the dark, holographic, or day-glo it doesn't belong in the 21st century.

Jacob's Technicolored Dream Shoes

2006-08-28T11:55:00.000-04:00

Nike my be the market leader in ugly sneakers, but everyone's playing catch up. Adidas, Converse, and New Balance think the best way to do this is to put as many different colors on one shoe as they can. These NBs will be sold exclusively in UNDFTD in japan, and worn exclusively by the colorblind and clowns with orthopedic conditions.

DQM "bacon" air max 90

2006-08-28T11:41:00.000-04:00

Dave's Quality Meat is one of my favorite sneaker boutiques in NYC. The place is set up to look like a butcher's shop. If you're looking for an ugly pair of Nikes, but only can make one stop go to DQM because to my knowledge they are the ONLY store in all of NYC with both an SB account and a quick strike account. Also they receive "tier 0" drops and carry the new Adidas skate board line along with the vans Vault line and many other ugly shoes other stores don't have the balls to carry. Any day now these mildly ugly Air maxes fashioned after strips of bacon will come out. There is no official release date, but word has it they will show up within this week. I think they should come out Friday at sundown so they sell out before anyone that observes the Sabbath can purchase them.

Since you've been gone

2006-08-28T10:49:00.000-04:00

I'm back from Vermont and back in the blogging chair. Two big things happened during my hiatus.

First the fine people at Sports by Brooks linked to me. They also wrote a nice blurb about my ugly blog. I would like to Welcome you all.
Secondly the hit HBO show Entourage had a new episode about an ugly pair of limited edition kicks. several people emailed me about this.

These are the one ofs made for "turtle" by Fukijama who is actually a real artist/sneaker customizer.

These are the shoes that were allegedly limited to 200, but in reality they only made this one pair. I happen to like these the texture of the leather is nice and the laser etching isn't gratuitous. Other than that the world already has way too many AF1s. A while back I blogged about a pair of custom pair of AF1s Fukijama made as a prize for the Sole Collector contest out west. They featured paisley satin lining. The entourage shoes really can't compete with that level of ugliness.

If anyone else links to me I will link back to you cause that's how I was raised.
VOC stars
James K Polka

RECALL NOTICE

2006-08-19T02:29:00.000-04:00

This is an important recall notice. If in the last week you purchased a orange and red snakeskin or gold and brown ostrich pair of air maxes RETURN THEM IMMEDIATELY. The problem is after a few day use the midsole will start cracking and become so ugly you will no longer be able to wear your shoes. I had to get this warning out before I went on vacation.

P.S. thanks for the emails about my blog and what you like/don't like.

RS100 nitelite

2006-08-18T02:17:00.000-04:00

Puma's really pushing the RS100s. these are part of a 3M pack. The Puma 'stripe' and toe will be made out of 3M scotch brite. The Nike's that were made with this stuff look bad ass, particularly at night. People should seriously consider getting a pair. I recommend the blue ones that won't make you look like a homosexual space man.I'm leaving for vacation on Saturday morning. This may be the last post I make for a week and a half. However when I come back there will be over a weeks worth of ugly sneaker news to report on. I am pretty psyched. I would love to get feedback from anyone about what sort of posts they like, what they could care less about.

AF1s you can't refuse

2006-08-17T12:37:00.000-04:00

These are a custom pair of AF1s made from horse and lined with satin. They don't have a nickname yet so I will start calling these Elmers.

NEW NIKE SB DUNK

2006-08-17T12:31:00.000-04:00

A new ugly dunk from the Nike skateboarding division. as far as I know it doesn't have a nickname yet. I liked the use of wool in the negro league pack and in the tweed pack but I feel it's use here is gratuitous. I have upgraded my blog to the new version of blogger that uses tags.

PUMA

2006-08-16T02:29:00.000-04:00

Puma has a rainbow of clydes coming out. Sorry these shoes aren't ugly (enough) but I wanted to make a gay pun. Seriously Puma ha been working hard on the ugly sneaker front. Also they get props from me for supporting fixed-gear cycling in NYC and elsewhere. Fixies area growing trend that Nike seems to be ignoring completely.
These RS100s are more up to par with what I am looking for in too much color. I like the extra laces and how they match the extra colors in the sole. It's good stuff. These are the kind of shoes you get for a retarded child so that if he runs away he's easier to spot at night.

Sneaker shopping

2006-08-16T01:49:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I hit up several NYC sneaker stores: DQM, Supreme, clientele, flight club, alife, classic kicks, rival, and some non boutique stores along the way. I picked up a brand new pair of SB classics for someone's Birthday. At flight club which is a consignment shop I saw that nike sb golf dunks were going for 143 bucks. I knew that there were still a few pairs left at DQM for 90 bucks. I ran down there and picked up the last pair for 90 bucks and put it up for sale at flight club. Nike SB also
made this weird shoe in blue. They also made a golf dunk with cleats in black or brown.

HOUSTON STREET PIXEL ART

2006-08-16T00:11:00.000-04:00

The truly ugly ugly shoe news seems to be drying up, but these little gems caught my eye. They are made by DKNY with the artwork done by eboy. From where I stand it looks like the art is of Houston street around Broadway.

Escort Force

2006-08-12T22:54:00.000-04:00

These slip-ons are designed after illegal escort flyers in Tokyo. They will be available in time for Halloween. I plan on being the Village Voice. The rest of my costume is a Michael Musto mask and a t-shirt critical of the bush administration.

Tennis Anyone?

2006-08-12T22:50:00.000-04:00

On Alife's website they have new pics of the hotly anticipated tennis ball pumps. The title of website says "gone till November." people are taking this as a hint that the shoes might be coming out some time in November. These may be ugly, but IMHO they are good ugly. My only concern with these sneakers is that due to such a high surface area I would assume that they get dirty easily and are hard to clean. These shoes will break necks.

I can see myself in your shoes

2006-08-11T01:27:00.000-04:00

For a mere 295 dollars you can buy these shoes designed by Bernard Willhelm. The sneaker is made from white leather, gray suede, mirrored and iridescent plastic, inspiration, and 9 grams of cocaine cut with No Doze. Bernie wanted to create a velcro shoe with materials more ridiculous than velcro. Congratulations on seeing your idea to completion. On behalf of the 7 people who read my blog I would like to thank you for showing up nike for once.

Interesting side note: My spell checker doesn't recognize the word "velcro." It suggests instead "vulgar." apparently blogger's spell checker has better taste than Bernard Willhelm. Google is fucking amazing! They should make shoes.

The Night The Lights Went On In Your Shoes

2006-08-11T01:09:00.000-04:00

These shoes are powered by a AAA battery and either stay on or brink. They are modeled after uptowns AKA nike air force 1s. Technically these aren't up to my standards as ugly shoes, but I feel like they are ugly from the inside. Finally a shoe for adults that can trigger epileptic seizures.

Pink Seersucker Vandals

2006-08-08T02:48:00.000-04:00

Only pictures have leaked, and not much info is known about this shoe. My guess is they will 'drop' April 27th to coincide with national take our daughters to work day. It looks like a 7 year old girl received an invite to the NIKE iD studio and went ape shit. Just try assembling an outfit that pulls together both pink seersucker and silver. The only human being I know that could wear these non-ironically is Fabrice Fabrice

Magnetic Shoes

2006-08-06T12:35:00.000-04:00

Check out these custom magnetic shoes based on the Marvel super villain Magneto. As people are running out of ways to make their sneakers ugly the only logical step is to make them more like action figures.

Win Ugly Sneakers

2006-08-05T12:29:00.000-04:00

Yesterday in Germany the pink YO! MTV RAPS Pumas came out and sold out almost instantaneously. Only 225 pairs were made. Only 50 of the green version will be made and Puma is giving a pair away. All you have to do is enter their contest. To be compleatly honest these shoes don't reach my criteria for ugly shoes. Puma consistently gets bested by Nike.

Happy B-Day MTV

2006-08-04T01:30:00.000-04:00

Only one pair of this MTV Adidas Superstar will ever be created, but that's probably one too many. It will be auctioned off and the money will go to MTV's Staying Alive Foundation which puts PSAs on MTV informing young people about AIDS. Did you know that if you jumble up the letters in Adidas it spells "AIDS AD" Coincidence?

I just read on Freshness that Redman ~~of the WU Tang Klan~~ will be opening a sneaker store in Staten island (where I live). I am pretty psyched.

White Elephant

2006-08-01T13:51:00.000-04:00

The Sole Collector sneaker collection competition just wrapped up in Vegas and the winner was awarded this pair of disgusting shoes. The Nike AF1s feature candy orange patent leather and paisley satin lining. Once I was sad because I had no shoes. Then I met a man that won a pair of shoes for having the greatest sneaker collection in all of Las Vegas.

too ugly

2006-08-01T03:37:00.000-04:00

This just in. Nike's skateboarding division is comming out with three dunks (low, mid, hi) with a three bears theme. Faux fur and bright colors go together like hunting and drinking beer.

Undefeated Question

2006-07-31T16:59:00.000-04:00

This is a special colorway of the original 1996 shoe "the question" made for Allen Iverson's first season. If this is the question I can only assume that the answer is pepto bismol.

Welcome To Roundhouse Kicks

2006-07-31T16:33:00.000-04:00

I read several sneaker blogs that most normal people would have no use for. Modern Life is very busy and scheduled. Between pilates, work, pedicures, cooking, and mommy and me yoga classes who has time to read 3 sneaker blogs daily. that is exactly why I created this blog.

It seems like every other day that I get news of a new pair of completely ugly sneakers coming out. I love showing them to my girlfriend and adding some sort of snarky comment about how ugly they are. I created this blog to keep people abreast the the latest ugly kicks hitting the market.

This first shoes I want to post about I saw last night for the first time. These shoes on ebay are allegedly custom Nike Air 180s made for Kanye West. I am guessing they had to sample a beanie baby and a tub of cheap sherbet to produce these sneakers.